Influencing People!

I have recently been re-reading one of my favourite books 'How to win friends and influence people' by Dale Carnegie. This has by chance coincided with a couple of incidents that I personally have experienced of unbelievably bad customer service. The specifics of these events will remain in the vault of my mind labelled "Did they really say that?"! as on the whole I believe that these things should not be dwelled upon for any longer than is necessary but I feel I should reflect on it long enough to illustrate something that Dale Carnegie talks about early in his book. For any of you who have read this book that has well and truly stood the test of time you will be aware of three of the main tenets which are fundamental throughout. They are:

• Never criticize, condemn or complain.
  Criticism makes others defensive and resentful.
  Positive Reinforcement works better.


• Make the other person feel important.
  People yearn to feel important and appreciated.
  Praise others’ strengths and they’ll strive to reinforce your opinion.


• Frame requests in terms of what others find motivating.
  Ask yourself: “Why would someone want to do what I'm asking?”

It is perhaps prophetic that I should have read the book just prior to these 2 incidents as I was very aware of Carnegie's message as the situations unfolded. Life throws odd things at us from time to time and how we deal with these things effects how we grow and in some way how far we go in life. Getting angry is destructive to all involved - it humiliates the shop assistant or whoever we feel it is that has done us wrong and ultimately it takes power away from us. I don't advocate at all that shoddy customer service in any guise should be shrugged off as not important but just think that as Dale Carnegie says: "When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity."

So when next time you don't quite get the deal in customer service that you hoped for remember another DC quote:

"Any fool can criticise, condemn and complain - and most do. But it takes great character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving."

Warmest regards

Craig

craig@craiggoldblatt.com